Minnesota: Day One

Saturday, August 22, 2009

So yesterday was my first full day at home in Minnesota, and I survived. How well did I do, you ask? Well, I was not exactly the perfect little eating champion I had imagined. Seriously, I have been imagining it for a week. I saw myself swooping into my little hometown grocery store and searching for almond butter, organic veggies, fish (not to be all mixed together.) I pictured myself cooking healthy meals and feeling a little high-and-mighty.

Well, I don't really like that elitist picture of myself. I am so so so not that way. I guess it's okay that things turned out a little differently. It has not been perfect. I did not spend transform into a gourmet organic chef overnight, and had no desire to spend my vacation scouring the grocery store shelves.

You are wondering what I did eat on the first day of my much-needed vacay. Well, I shall tell you. Keep in mind that my parents don't believe in keeping more then the bare essentials in the kitchen (a trait which I have inherited.) Breakfast was healthy trailmix- odd choice, but very filling. Lunch was interesting. Yesterday just so happened to be the annual Salad Luncheon fundraiser at my church. Lots of tight permed ladies munching on noodle salads and jello salads and tuna puffs. My mother and my second mother (her bestie lady friend) volunteered me to work. I spent a couple of hours clearing and resetting plates. I managed not to snack on any of the cookies lingering around, but my mom came up on her lunch break and we partook in the salad luncheon together. I had no idea how many calories I was taking in, and that freaked me out a bit. But I tried to make good choices, and keep the portions smaller. I don't think it was an epic failure.

And dinner? What dinner? I had a little more trailmix late in the afternoon and then Mom and I went up to the theatre and saw Inglorious Basterds (amaaaaazing) and we ate our traditional kiddie packs. Tiny little diet cokes, a child-sized serving of popcorn, and some candy all in a cute little cardboard tray. Not healthy, but not so tragic considering that was dinner. Although I could have probably done without the three beers at the bar after the movie. But we were being ladies about town, having a nightcap, and having a good time with the regular friday night crowd at our regular friday night place. And they were light beers- practically health food.

So maybe I wasn't a healthy eating champion, but I did not fall into old habits. There was no secret eating. No gorging on whatever I could find around the house. No snacking between my "meals." I really don't think the day was a failure. Plus: I put in 30 minutes of walk/run intervals on the treadmill, biked all over town, and hustled around bussing tables for 2 hours. I burned some calories, baby.

And now it is time to change out of my pjs and see what day two has in store. So I raise my coffee cup and say cheers to everything in moderation! Off we go...


Airport Delays

Friday, August 21, 2009

I am writing today from chilly Minnesota, after a long and frustrating day of travel yesterday. My flight was out at 5:30 pm, and boyfriend dropped me off super duper early. I was through check-in and security, chillaxing in the gate by 3:30. So, obviously, my flight was delayed. Twice. And then we had to circle for 20 minutes above Iowa before we finally landed in Minneapolis. Apparently there was construction on the runway in MSP- causing a huge backup. All of the ingredients for a dangerous day were there. Extra time at the airport, boredom, frustration- it was quite the test.

But I came through strong! I did well initially in the airport, munching on the trail mix I had packed and sipping on some water. The first delay did not throw me off my groove. I just grabbed my bag, tuned my ipod to a zipping playlist, and power walked all the way across the incredibly long terminal. The walk ended at McDonalds, and my heart was pumping. I ordered a Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad (220 calories) and only used a touch of the dressing (50 calories tops.) It was tasty and satisfying, and left me feeling strong in my convictions. Then I power walked back to my gate, just in time to hear them announce the second delay. I used my second extra hour to book-it back down the terminal and peruse the bookstore. I was frustrated, and the bars were hard to resist, but I opted for water. The actual plane ride went well, too. I was not even tempted by the expensive (both in dollars and calories) snacks. I was quite content with my fruit leather.

So I am finally home. My family and my puppy are happy, and so am I. Today is going to prove challenging as well, and possibly quite entertaining. I will keep the updates coming- I think it will be helpful to have somewhere to report to. Have a good day. Do some dancing.


Trip Home

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Hello All! So tomorrow is day 60 of my current plan (eat healthy, write everything down, and move my lumpy booty around more.) And I figured there was no better way to celebrate these two months than by challenging myself. Epically.

Tomorrow I am headed home to Minnesota (I have been living in Texas for the past 4ish years.) I have never ever ever managed to stay healthy and on track during visits home. Never. Not even during my days as a Weight Watcher Warrior. And now, in the midst of my life-changing success, I am headed home. Honestly, being there is my own personal weight-loss nightmare. It's not like I just wade in the shallow end of the slacker pool and neglect to track my food or something- no no. I jump in off the high dive. Burgers, fries, ice cream, wine (so much wine), movie theatre popcorn, etc. And, on top of all the poor choices, my bad habits from high-school tend to resurface. I will sit down and eat a sleeve of saltine crackers, followed by two packages of microwave pancakes, and a heaping plate of chips-and-cheese. Any random junk that I find in my parent's cupboards makes its way into my mouth.

So, needless to say, I have been freaking out about this trip a little. A lot. I am going for a week! Yikes. Danger. But, as I have apparently decided to become some kind of annoying, optimistic, go-getter, I am headed home with a good plan. I have packed trail-mix and fruit leathers for the travel day tomorrow, to avoid going junk-food crazy in the airport tomorrow. I have also packed some workout clothes and DVDs- and I have made a plan of all the great outdoor workouts I can do in the beautiful Minnesota summer weather. On top of that, I have already thought of what to order at the small-towny restaurants that require a visit. And I have planned to swing through the grocery store my first day there to pick up some of my must-have foods.

I am trying to mentally prepare myself. But really I am just trying not to Freak.Out. Yeah, I don't do so well out of my own little bubble. I guess it's time to expand the bubble and hope it doesn't burst.


Why Hello 180s!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The scale and I had an interesting meeting this morning. I stepped on fully expecting it to be up from yesterday- as tomorrow should be the start of everyone's oh-so-favorite week of the month. I have not been weighing myself daily long enough to really know my body's gain/loss pattern during this time of the month, but I have been shooting up and down the 191 range all week, and I just thought it would spike today.

So I stepped on, more curious about what my body does then interested in seeing the number drop... 189.6! Seriously body, what is your deal? I have not been in the 180s in over five years, and if you decide to gain all of that crazy water weight and spike back up tomorrow- so help me.. .I won't pack any organic cookies or any almonds for the trip to Minnesota next Thursday. Don't mess with me, body.

I have been focused on getting into the 180s for a long time, and I really did not expect it to today. I am so happy with my progress. Sure the numbers on the scale move slowly, and not always consistently, but I am making the best choices. Consistently. Everyday.


That's Right

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tonight I fit comfortably into boyfriend's pajama pants.

Nuff said.


Day Fifty

Monday, August 10, 2009

I have officially been on-track for 50 days. Most have been a breeze, but life decided to throw rotting vegetables, rocks, baseballs, etc. at me today. Day fifty was so awful for some ridiculously boring/lame school-related reasons. It made me snarf up two pieces of pizza at lunch today, but luckily I regained my composure and just made the unplanned lunch fit into my day. Stupid day fifty. If I could curse you, I just might. You deserve a wrist-slap at the very least.

Although, underneath all of my annoyance at a genuinely awful day, I am happy. This really is not just day fifty- I have been on this journey since the spring of 2007, but as you may know, it has been incredibly different for me this time around. I healed my inside first so that I could fix my outside. Really today was the fiftieth day of my healing process, and I am proud of how far I have come. For the first time in my life, giving into one of my biggest food temptations did not make me feel worthless and miserable, and it did not throw me off track. I handled it for what it was...

Just some freaking pizza.

So huzzah for today, because why the hell not.

And thanks for being here... You are all seriously helping me make this change last.


Me? A Runner?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I was cranky yesterday after work (obviously) but I perked up. I am not sure how it happened, but I actually ran yesterday. And not away from a rabid animal or a vicious criminal. I laced up my kicks, took my 192 pounds, and hit the trail. Are you shocked? Not more than I was!

I am not sure what prompted me, really. Auntie and I had been planning on going for a walk, but at one point in the evening it sounded like she was going to have to bail out on me, so I started charging my ipod, determined to not miss the workout. While I was waiting for it to charge I puttered around looking at free podcasts and imagined myself working out with one of the walk/run interval timed bpm thingamajigs that I have always dreamed of doing (odd dream, I know.) And then there was no going back.. I downloaded it to my ipod and held onto my "why the hell not" attitude.

Well, the Auntie decided to walk with me, and we took the dogs for a stroll through park. It was lovely, but I knew I wanted more. I had my ipod in my pocket knowing that I would grab some water and go right back out, and I did! 30 minutes of fast walking/running intervals. It probably does not seem like much, but I am so far from a runner. I am the anti-runner. Plus I have not had a super great workout since my fall a month ago, but I survived!

Tonight I am headed out to the state park for a more scenic, hilly walking route, but I see more running in my future!


I officially hate customers.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I am so tired of hawking diet pills at people, I could just scream. If someone wants to take something for more energy, and a little metabolism boosting action- I say sure. Go for it. Not my cup of tea, but who am I to judge? But everyday at work I have several people who come in asking for a diet pill that will make them lose weight without watching their diet or exercising. Seriously? Are there people out there who still honestly believe that there is a miracle pill. Would we not all be skinny if that existed!?! It's not gonna happen buddy. And I am not going to tell you that it will. I refuse to lie to people about this (even though I make money for every bottle I sell) I just can't.

And possibly what is even worse is people's caviler attitude toward diet products. Does no one research what they plan on putting into their bodies? I'm sorry, but if you don't know the difference between fat-burners and appetite suppressors, and refuse to listen as I explain that there is a difference- then get the eff out of my store. And if you have heart issues, maybe don't take something that will drastically raise your heart rate, mmkay? Just a thought. Just buy a freaking multi-vitamin, maybe some 100% protein and move your body a little in some sort of exerciseish manner.

And don't assume that I don't know what I'm talking about just because I am carrying some extra pounds. You don't know where I have been. And you have no idea the amount of nutrition/supplement information that I know. So go ahead.. Buy your dangerous fat burner even though you have heart-health issues. Let me know how that works out for you.


Just Dunk me in Water

Friday, August 7, 2009

I just want to immerse myself in water and all of it's magical powers. After making my little list on Tuesday, I started taking my water intake seriously again. It is such a silly thing to get lax on- I just needed to make the choice, and it has really paid off over the last few days. I have more energy, no headaches, my appetite is decreased, the scale is moving down steadily, on and on and on. I know it is incredibly simple, but recently there were days when I would not drink any water at all! Ridiculous.

How am I doing on everything else? Well, I have been strapping on my kicks and hitting the pavement this week (as walking is still the only thing my back can handle after the fall.) This morning I did a 6 mile walk, so lovely. I feel great! It feels good to get moving again now that my body is finally starting to recover. I just can't wait to start kickboxing and bicycling again, but for now I will content myself with some vigorous strolls.

The clean foods? Much better, but still need to work on it. Recently I had started grazing again, and although I was never going over my calorie max- I just do not want to get into old habits. So I am refocusing on the timing and content of my meals. Work in progress.

And the diet soda? Epic fail. I made it through Wednesday without any, but I spent Thursday with Boyfriend and he had purchased a 12 pack of diet coke just for me to keep at his apartment! I suppose I could have just had one can, but I had two. I told him that I am trying to cut it out, so for now I will only drink it when I am at his apartment, and one can a day tops. And when that twelve pack is gone, I will make sure he does not buy anymore. He's so sweet, but it was such bad timing!

So there we are, friends. I did not simply make a list and forget about it. I am almost at day 50, and I am just trying to refocus myself. Always a good idea.

And now, it's time to make some lunch and enjoy You Are What You Eat on BBC America. Love it!


Ignore the scale and the Frankenfoods.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The scale gods cursed me because I was getting too scale obsessed yesterday. Just glance at yesterday's post and you can see the obsession glimmering through the surface. I suppose it leaked in after being stuck at 193 for three days. Honestly, I woke up this morning with that same combination of jitters and nausea I used to get during my weekly WW (online) weigh-ins. I could not wait to hop on that scale and become acquainted with my new number. What was my punishment for this obsession? An inexplicable 0.6 lb gain this morning. I know it is simply normal daily fluctuations, and luckily the small gain forced me to laugh at myself and shed the number fixation.

And what could be an even more hilarious/odd detail about all of this? Yesterday I noticed that a pair of pants and a skirt from the not-so-fat/has-not-fit-in-years section of my closet buttoned and zipped without the dreaded process of laying on the bed and sucking my gut in. And, one of my favorite button-up tunics no longer has an evil button gap over my ample chest! It just buttons straight down. Lovely.

After all of that, my brain still got caught up in the number game for a day. No more of that nonsense.

I have probably said this a lot recently (because I have been thinking it a lot) but I really need to focus on clean eating. Yes, I have stuck within my calorie range for the last 44 days, but I find myself become a little lazy in the actual food choices. I am reaching for processed/packaged Frankenfood junk more often that I care to admit. It is just so easy and available, especially now that I am shacking up at N&J's (my aunt and uncle's.) What am I going to do about this? Why, make a list of course. I live for lists.

Things to focus on for the next 44+ days:

  • Eating clean/organic whenever humanly possible- possibly following a lot of JM's tips in Master Your Metabolism as I delve further in. Forget the Frankenfoods!
  • No more diet pop. None. At all. Seriously, break up with the diet pop.Unless you want to kill yourself one diet coke at a time. Which you don't. So stop it. Now.
  • Water. Water. Water.
  • Consistent workouts. I have been so pathetic in this department.
That seems like a sufficient list. And this seems like a sufficient post.


Chocolate, Bob, and Jillian

Monday, August 3, 2009

The scale fairy has not delivered a new number for three days. That is not abnormal, really, but it is annoying. I am sitting at 193.0 and am itching to be down in the 192 range- and itching even more to hit 189. So close I can almost taste it (hopefully it is low-cal. come on, that deserves a chuckle. or at least one of those laughy-puffs-of-air, I believe they are called chortles.)Chortle Away.

I am guessing the stalemate on the scale (scalemate? hah) has to do with Mr. Hershey. I have eaten two milk chocolate bars in the last two days. I did fit those 220x2 calories into my day, which I am proud of. In the past, before my miraculous mental transformation, eating something like that (especially two days in a row)
would have sent me spiraling downward, searching for more and more.. Leading to a binge. This time, however, I did not even feel myself fighting against the all-powerful force of the binge. My body is probably in shock, wondering where it's freaking binge is. I would bet all of my Wasa crackers that it is holding on at 193 because it knows I am only headed up (the bad kind of up.) Well, self, it's not going to happen. I have too much annoying positive energy for that to happen right now. Take that.

In other news: Since Jillian Michaels abandoned me (or rather abandoned her radio show which I had an unhelathy attachment to- see Radio Detox) I decided to finally pick up a copy of Master Your Metabolism. It's not that I think my metabolism is a serious problem, I am just craving some of JM's no-nonsense nutrition/supplement information. What can I say, I am a vitamin salesperson/nutrition nerd. I could spend hours and hours and hours boring you with info, but I am always wanting more, and JM is a factual goddess.

These days I seem to be using the Biggest Loser gurus as two of my major full-time support staff. Granted, I have put the time in. And I activley seek information, but 43 days ago Bob helped me realign my inner-compass, and maybe Jillian will help me realign my metabolism.

Or maybe all of the interesting facts will simply satisfy my nerdy-informaiton-cravings. Win-Win Baby.


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