Carry On

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I am eeking my way back to normalcy. I have managed to put on about 10 pounds in 3-4 weeks. As of this morning, I am up to 191.2. I know I should not be frustrated over a number, but I have managed to stay out of the 190s for such a long time now, and I let myself creep back in... Right when I was going to break into the 170s for the first time in years.

So I am having a moment of regret. No the most helpful emotion, but more helpful than apathy. And now I am moving forward. Pressing on. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

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Back in Minnesota

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

It has been a long three weeks. Grandpa passed away on Sunday, so I am back in Minnesota. Right now I am sitting under the covers in a hotel bed, greasy from yesterday's travel day and too long without a shower. My face is sprouting several new pimples, and I must be 5-10 pounds heavier than when I was in Minnesota three weeks ago.

But right now all I really care about is that my Mom is laying on the bed next to me, finally getting some sleep. I care that I saw my brother, Mr. Navy, last night for the first time in 14 months. I care that my Dad has puffy watery eyes. I care that my aunts and uncles and cousins are all here together. Overtaking a hotel that we have all called home at some point over the last month.

We have no place to go. Grandma died 14 years ago, and the farm was sold when Grandpa had to move into assistant living a few years ago. My mom and her siblings have already felt homeless, in a sense. Now they feel like orphans.

I am trying to be strong for once. To take care of Mom instead of making her take care of me, and everyone else.

I am not very good at this.

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